It's that time of year again folks. Time to compile the definitive lists of the year's best and worst movies. 2014 has been a fantastic year for cinema but unfortunately, as always, there are a few movies that have tainted cinemas around the world.

Before I begin my rundown there are some honourable (not too sure if that's the right word to use) mentions. These are movies that nearly made it into the final ten but escaped rather luckily:
  • Non-Stop
  • Pompeii
  • Sabotage
  • Maleficent
  • The Purge: Anarchy
  • The Expendables 3
  • TNMT
  • Into The Storm
  • Transcendence
  • Tusk
With that out of the way allow me to begin...

10) 300: Rise of an Empire 

To be honest I wasn't expecting much from this follow-up to the hugely popular 300 and it turns out I was right not to. Terrible performances aplenty and more than enough slo-mo to make you fall asleep, Rise of an Empire really whimpers to a finish. Keep an eye out for one of the most laughable sex scenes in movie history, where keeping a straight face really is an impossible task.

9) Transformers: Age of Extinction

It wouldn't really feel like a rundown of the year's worst movies without Michael Bay being mentioned somewhere along the line. Bay's latest entry in the Transformers franchise is overlong, overloud and just painstakingly dumb. High hopes of a new human cast were soon cut short when Bay just cast another hot girl to leer at and Mark Wahlberg ended up looking more angry and confused than ever before. This is the start of a new trilogy so get ready for more torture of the eyes and ears in 2016.

8) A Million Ways to Die in the West 

What's worse than an unfunny comedy? The answer is an unfunny comedy starring its creator who thinks he's funnier than he actually is. Yes, A Million Ways to Die in the West really is just an incredibly hard movie to watch and that is mainly because most of the jokes fall flat. Also, Seth McFarlane really doesn't have a future as a leading man in comedies.

7) The Other Woman

Quite possibly one of the only chick flicks I've ever seen that will have some women hating the three lead characters they are supposed to be cheering for. It's tiring to watch women bitch about men but it's exhausting to watch them try and get their own back on one. What's even more ridiculous is the fact the three women in the movie are being cheated on by the same man yet somehow become best friends when in real life they would be tearing each others hair out for crying out loud! This movie is just stupid.

6) Tammy 

There were some bad comedies in 2014 and Tammy is easily one of the worst offerings. Melissa McCarthy stars and its clear that the comedy wave she has been riding ever since Bridesmaids is starting to break. Just look at that poster and try to explain to me what this movie is about because seriously, you won't give a toss when you're watching it. I don't remember laughing and for a comedy, that is a cardinal sin.

5) Sex Tape

If Tammy was awful then Sex Tape is just fucking abysmal. This insufferable comedy stars Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel as a couple who must retain all iPads they have handed out to friends and family due to their sex tape being loaded onto all of them through the iCloud network. Yes that really is the plot but in no way does it work as a comedy. The jokes are lame and the characters are so unlikable and unrealistic that you won't give a monkeys about whatever it is they are trying to achieve. Comedies are not supposed to make you angry...

4) I, Frankenstein 

What the hell happened to Aaron Eckhart's career?! Seriously after The Dark Knight I thought he was going places but I, Frankenstein just proves that his career has taken a serious nosedive into dangerous territory. It is a total mess and not an entertaining mess in any shape or form. You have been warned.

3) The Legend of Hercules 

The sword and sandals epic has never been so dull. Wooden is the best word to describe The Legend of Hercules. The cast, special effects and script are all just so shockingly bad it is hard to believe that this was produced by a respectable Hollywood studio. Do yourself a favour and watch Hercules starring Dwayne Johnson, also released this year.

2) Winter's Tale 

Magic horses, Russell Crowe speaking gibberish and Will Smith playing Satan. What the actual fucking fuck is this movie?! The whole thing is just bizarre and so unintentionally funny that it is fast gaining a reputation as the best comedy of the year! It has to be seen to be believed and that is not a lie. I am actually sat here in shock that this hasn't taken the number one spot. 

1) Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie

Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie is the epitome of shit filmmaking in the year 2014. I don't want to spend much time writing about this movie as the more I think about it the angrier I get. This ludicrously unfunny big screen version of the hit TV comedy is the final straw for me. Do us all a favour Mrs Brown and just kindly fuck off!


Popular Posts